Mental Health Behind the Chair
NAMI Chicago’s own Brenda Bahena is here to chat about mental health behind the salon chair. Whether you’re a hair professional, nail tech, or in another client-facing profession, Brenda helps outline useful tools, tips, and tricks for you to feel confident and supported in your work!
Be An Advocate
At times, we feel like therapists to our clients. We have a great space to hear them out, but at times, we realize we are at a point where we cannot help…BUT YOU MAY. As the person they already trust, you can serve as their advocate. LISTEN – VALIDATE – SHARE.
Empathy: The key to great listening
Empathy is the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experiences of another. (Merriam-Webster)
When a client opens up to you, you have made them feel safe. In peer support, we thank people for sharing and at times, share an experience that may be relatable. As a peer to your client, listening and being empathetic can go a long way.
Recognizing that you may not have the solutions and perhaps the one thing the client needs is simply someone to listen.
But when they are seeking answers, as a “hair therapist” you can be their advocate and provide helpful resources – NAMI Chicago being one of them.
NAMI Chicago’s Helpline is available 7 days a week* at (833) NAMICHI (626-4244) Monday to Friday 9am to 8pm and Saturday & Sunday 9am to 5pm
This free and confidential service provides information, support, and referrals to people seeking help for themselves or someone else. We can help if you need advice on how to best support your client or refer directly to us.
*Closed holidays and for occasional staff in-service.
Below are some helpful ways to guide tough conversations:
Compassionate Responses
“Thank you for trusting me with this. It means a lot to me.”
“I would have trouble with coping with that.”
“It’s okay to be angry. I think I would feel that way too.”
“I am honored that you shared this with me.”
“I know a lot of people don’t get it, but I am here to listen.”
“This is heavy. Thank you for not carrying this alone anymore.”
“I don’t even know what to say. I am so glad you told me.”
“I am here to hold space for all your feelings.”
“I can feel in my own body how heavy this is.”
“Your feelings are valid.”
“What I admire most about what you're doing is …...”
“This is a difficult situation and I think you have shown a lot of courage and strength in how you are handling things.”
“Even if I don’t have a solution for your situation, I am here to listen. “
Self-Care
Exercise – release endorphins to combat and reduce stress, but also maintain good physical health for this demanding job. Avoiding overuse injury that can cause interruption to work.
Self mental check ins – after a long day taking care of others making sure to check in with yourself.
Taking advantage of your off days vs just taking days off. Sometimes we do all the things we cannot do while working, during the days we have off. Yet it is very important to take moments to rest.
Not all hair professionals have the benefit of vacation time, especially paid time off. However, it can cost you more when you grind nonstop. Both physically and emotionally!
Manage your schedule—know your limits with how many clients you can take, how many hours and breaks are needed.
Boundaries—as service providers, we will be in demand, but knowing when to say “NO”, “I CAN’T”, “I’M UNAVAILABLE” etc, will be of great benefit to you.
Take breaks - step away, put some headphones on, and listen to some relaxing music, a podcast, or an audiobook. Also, grabbing some lotion and massaging your palms can not only feel good after cutting hair but also distract you a bit.
As we have shared, we hold a great space where clients like to share, but also please remember that there may be times you may not have the emotional space to listen. It’s best to thank your client for sharing, validate their share, and sincerely say, “I’m sorry, I wish I had my own emotional space to fully listen. At the moment, I just cannot, as you fully deserve me to.” This is where having credible resources comes in handy. Remember the NAMI helpline is a number anyone can call to be guided into the appropriate resource or have someone listen to you. Even though it is not a direct crisis line, they can support during one. Also, if having a conversation seems too heavy, it’s ok, to kindly switch gears. This is where having the NAMI help card visible is a great idea. A client can either take it, take a picture of it, save the number, with no one saying anything about it.
Most importantly…
TAKE CARE OF YOU. WE CAN NOT POUR FROM AN EMPTY CUP. IT IS OK TO TAKE BREAKS AND ESPECIALLY OK TO TALK TO SOMEONE. WE CANNOT HOLD TO MUCH IN OR WE WILL EXPLODE.
“As someone who was behind the chair for many years, I gave a lot of my time to my craft and my clients. Often overlooking my own needs. I recall, I was going through a rough time, when I first started cutting hair. I held a job at a salon full-time and a part-time job at a clothing store. Why? I was avoiding other situations. Things that gave me conflict or I just did not want to address. Let me tell you, it wore on me, BAD! Then having clients come in and dump more on me, whether it was their personal problems or wanting more time from me. It was heavy, I cracked and I said, NO MORE! I have no shame taking care of myself and seeking professional guidance to help me address things I didn’t understand in my own life. GAME CHANGER! Through the years, I learned to navigate my life better and in turn become a better hair professional. Now, I want to share the wealth. Let’s be better for ourselves and kick it up a notch and be the best hair professionals to our clients in so many ways.
I now use my vulnerability to reach out for help, talk it out, share with my peers as my SUPERPOWER. As I always say in our NAMI support groups, ‘My mental health diagnosis, is life. Its happens and I need to talk about it.’ When we talk and unload, we create space for bigger, more important things. Life is too short not to!!! Be the best version of yourself, for you and for those around you.”
—Brenda *Lady B* Lic. Cos & Lic. Barber/Peer Recovery Support Specialist and Certified Wellness Recovery and Action Plan Facilitator (WRAP) with NAMI Chicago.